If the NBA were the “Rap Game”
I’m going to go ahead and say that you could simply substitute the NBA players for the rappers mentioned below in the following videos. Enjoy.
Metta World Peace would be DMX
Metta and DMX may very well be the same person. They are a pair of mentally unstable, well intentioned guys who just lose control of their emotions sometimes. DMX leaves it all on the stage and Metta leaves it all on the court (and sometimes the stands.) Sidenote, World Peace actually does rap himself, his song “Champions” is pretty good.
Andrew Bynum would be Tyga
Bynum and Tyga: two extremely immature, talented and famous people. Can’t you just see Bynum up their yelling “Rack City, trick?” Mike Brown is Bynum’s Birdman. Also, Tyga would shoot many ill advised threes if he were on the Lakers.
Ricky Rubio would be Pitbull
Demarcus Cousins would be Wiz Khalifa
Cousins would be Wiz because he simply doesn’t care. He just chills and tries every now and then. He can be really good, and he can be an enigma. He literally lives young, wild and free.
Paul Pierce, Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett would be Dr. Dre, Nate Dogg and Snoop Dogg
Obviously, Pierce would be Dre, Ray would be Nate and KG would be Snoop. That’s a big ‘ole cluster of OGs. Garnett would start things off right with Snoop’s verse. Pierce would follow, letting everyone know what’s up while simultaneously commanding respect. Then, Ray would commence things in his top hat, in the same smooth way that Nate Dogg did (RIP). Plus, you know KG would be in the back, sippin’ on yak.
Kevin Durant and James Harden would be Outkast
It’s almost a toss up as to who would be who, but I think Harden would be Andre and KD would be Big Boi. Harden is just weird enough to pull off the Andre 3K role. I could see him hitting the high notes in this version of “Roses” that they performed on Letterman. Durant would come in and rap Big Boi’s part while trying not to laugh. I also think this specific song is perfect for them.
Latrell Spreewell would be Drake
This probably seems very random. Spreewell isn’t even in the league anymore. But, I had to do it, specifically for this song, “Money To Blow.” Spreewell made $96 mill in his career and had a $1.5 mill yacht named “Milwaukee’s Best” at one point. Now, he is bankrupt. Needless to say, Spreewell had some money to blow.
LeBron and D Wade would be Jay-Z and Kanye
To LeBron and Wade, watching a Heat game is basically Watching The Throne. So, this fits perfectly. Wade would be Kanye. They are both from Chicago. They are both obsessed with fashion and they are both pretty cool, honestly. LeBron is the most gifted and talented player, just like Jay-Z is the most gifted and talented rapper. Jay and Kanye even mention Wade and James in their song “Gotta Have It.”
Kobe would be Eminem
Kobe would be Eminem because they are both vicious, fearless and assiduous. One could argue that Kobe is the best of all time, and one could do the same for Eminem. It would be a little bit of a stretch, but it’s possible. In my “If the NFL were the Rap Game,” article I had Ray Lewis as Eminem. I would say Kobe is the Ray Lewis of the NBA.
Blake Griffin would be Biz Markie
Both are hilarious and pretty good at what they do. I’m not ready to consider Griffin as an elite player yet, but he is awesome and hilarious.
The Denver Nuggets would be the Wu-Tang Clan
The Nuggets are a weird group. There’s no breakout star or leader. But, they all mesh well in their own crazy way. I’m not going to go into the specifics of naming who would be who, but you get the picture. The Nuggets grew up on the crime side…stayin’ alive was (is) no jive. They are on the verge of pulling off a pretty big upset against the Lakers and it would be pretty cool.
Mike Bibby would be Mac Miller
Bibby has been a pretty good player, but he’s always seemed like he doesn’t quite belong. He would be Mac Miller because they are both white guys who think they are really cool in a world full of actually cool black people.
So there you have it. Feel free to comment and add any additions of your own. Somewhere, Kris Humphries is glad he wasn’t mentioned in this post.