The Pup List’s 2015 Multi-Sport, All-Encompassing “Gives Zero” All-Star Team
*To “give zero” \tü – ‘giv – zir-ō \ (verb) – The act of simply and wholeheartedly not caring about what others think about your actions and decisions.
“Giving zero” just might be my favorite quality that an athlete can have. We all irrationally love and hate certain athletes within the spectrum of sports, and we all have different reasons to back up our feelings. For example, one person might love Steph Curry because of his family oriented, clean-cut reputation. Another person might like Tom Brady because of his good looks and cut-throat mentality.
And then, there are people like me. The people who have a profound love for the weird, the irrational and the disconcerting. These types of people have watched the Randy Moss “straight cash homie” video over 100 times. They also know the Iverson practice video, the Bart Scott “can’t wait” video and the Rasheed Wallace “both teams played hard” video by heart.
Anyway, let’s just get down to it and get these roster spots hammered out. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you The Pup List’s 2015 “Gives Zero” All-Star Team. Since it involves all sports, we’ll just keep it simple with a starting five and a bench (limited to currently active players).
The Starting Five
1. Jay Cutler
Cutler is the team captain. His facial expression remains the same whether he throws an 80-yard touchdown or three consecutive picks. He will walk out on your press conference. He’ll talk about off-brand hair gel right before the game. He was born in Santa Claus, Indiana. He crammed the absolute crap out of the basketball in high school (cut to 4:30 in the video embedded above). And oh yeah, he does it all with Type-1 Diabetes. The man is amazing.
2. Marshawn Lynch
Too easy. All I have to say is, “yeah.” Also, he eats Skittles on the sideline and is willing to pay 50 grand in order to not talk to the media. This video from Kenny Mayne’s old ESPN skits is hilarious, as well.
3. Rusell Westbrook
“No more questions for you, bro.” Beautiful. This comes from a man who plays basketball like someone laced his Gatorade with 16 Five-Hour Energys. He dunks the ball so hard that it makes his teammates react as if they just witnessed a curb-stomping. He also wore this to the Kid’s Choice Awards.
4. Aroldis Chapman
This man throws 100 mph+ fastballs at people’s heads. He also reportedly wakes up at 4 p.m. in the off-season and smokes Marlboro Reds. I don’t condone any of these activities, but it does illustrate just how much he “gives zero.”
5. John Daly
I strongly encourage you to watch video above. Here are just a few quotes from it, “Off the back tees, shoeless and shirtless with cigarette-in-mouth, Daly crushed his three-wood down the left-side of the fairway.” Also, in reference to the interviewer’s Pumas, Daly says, “Where’d you get those shoes, New York City?” It’s perfect. He’s a huge fan of Arkansas football, he loves Diet Coke, he loves cigs and he truly gives zero. He even dresses similarly to Westbrook.
Nick “Swaggy P” Young – The Lakers’ shooting guard has a separate house on his property to store all of his shoes. He purposefully left his right arm un-tattooed because it is strictly used for “getting buckets.” He dates Iggy Azalea. He said that one day, he’ll write a book explaining why his nickname is “Swaggy P.” And he’s actually pretty good.
David Ortiz – He’s been doing it for well over a decade now, but he’s still active so I had to pay respect. His speech after the Boston bombings was an all-timer.
Kevin Garnett – Another esteemed veteran, I could write about him for pages on end. But, I’ll just leave you with his most recent episode of giving zero.
Steve Smith – I had a hard time leaving him out of the starting five but like KG and Big Papi, he’s past his prime. Over the years he has gifted us with amazing quotes like “Ice up, son” and “Mow my lawn.” He’s a true genius and should always be respected.
Yasiel Puig – Puig grabs the last roster spot. He’s the second Cuban defector on our list, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence. Those guys had to escape their country and journey across the sea in paddle boats in order to chase their dreams. That alone is a huge sign of giving zero, but they like to have fun on top of it. Puig is just a child in a freakishly talented grown man’s body.
And there you have it, hopefully you gained a new respect for “giving zero.” Do you think anybody was snubbed?! Comment or tweet us @ThePupListBlog if you think so.