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Jim Harbaugh’s Hypocrisy Vibes are Off the Charts

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I was pretty much indifferent about Ohio State until my brother went there, then I became a fan. Luckily, the Buckeyes started to be otherworldly at football around that same time, and I’m not complaining. Last year’s loss to Michigan State was the flukiest fluke of all-time flukes. No doubt in my mind they would’ve won it all if Ed Warinner wasn’t sleep walking on the sideline all game. I still don’t really know what happened. I was in the car listening to the radio for most of the game, driving to Columbus from Jersey in hopes of celebrating the victory. If it weren’t for a Pennsylvania Turnpike State Trooper, I would’ve made it there for at least the fourth quarter. Anyway, what happened to the Buckeyes last season was the same thing that happens to any legendarily talented squad, the hype was too much. The old saying goes if you have two quarterbacks, you don’t have one. Well, Ohio State had three. Urban had to keep everybody happy and try to win at the same time, and it just doesn’t work like that. However, the Bucks still held a mass burial for Notre Dame at the Fiesta Bowl. The final score was 44-28 and the game wasn’t even as close as that score makes it seem. I fully expect this year to be one for the books, J.T. Barrett might break the sound barrier.

My favorite thing about becoming a Buckeye fan is the ability to absolutely hate Jim Harbaugh. This man is a freakazoid and I have no idea why the national media acts like he isn’t. If a man from any other profession was going to high schooler’s houses for sleepovers, the police would immediately be on the scene. Recruiting is the grossest accepted practice in the sports world. He’s getting desperate and going down to Florida to hold practices because he knows Urban has him by the undie straps. That’s Urban’s territory, all he has to do is dial up the bat-phone and he can get 75% of the best players from two of the three best recruiting hot spots, Ohio and Florida. I don’t blame Harbaugh for being a madman, it’s what you have to do when you know your back is against the ropes. There’s like a 15 percent chance Michigan becomes Buster Douglas and randomly knocks out Ohio State in Tokyo, but I don’t think it will happen. The Jim Harbaugh era of Michigan is the same as this new Batman v Superman movie, two great names but in the end it will be awkward and just OK. I KNOW there will be sanctions that come down on Michigan for what they’ve been doing during the Harbaugh era, even if they happen 15 years from now, they will come. So, he can keep talking all he wants.

There’s a reason everyone in the 49ers organization hates Harbaugh. That doesn’t just happen out of nowhere, he needs to be in a college situation where he can run the show, sleepover at kid’s houses and sprint around shirtless wearing khakis. Otherwise it’s just too much. Are we really going to act like it was so amazing that he got Ric Flair (a huge weirdo), Lou Holtz (a huge weirdo) and Tom Brady (a huge weirdo, see below) to come to some weird recruitment bonanaza? Act like you’ve been there before coach.

The reason I’m writing this today is because Harbaugh threw some attempted haymakers at OSU AD Gene Smith yesterday because Smith said that Michigan was jump-starting their football program. Harbaugh got offended because the truth hurts, that is exactly what they are doing. You don’t go down to Florida to practice unless you are jump-starting a program that has been embarrassing for years. Why else do you think Michigan fans are so defensive and aggressive? It’s like when someone gets dunked on and then immediately commits a flagrant foul at the other end of the court. Of course Harbaugh reacted to the jump-start accusation by bringing up the tattoo fiasco with Pryor and everybody. That was the lamest scandal of all-time. The players should absolutely be able to sell their jerseys and stuff for money. OSU got murdered on a technicality and Michigan still couldn’t catch up. Notice how Urban is just being silent and professional throughout all this.

I was ecstatic when I saw Braxton absorb Harbaugh’s attempted hay-maker and just drop-kick coach square in the jaw. Here’s the tweet:

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Hey Harbaugh,

That’s Urban’s bike coach. You just got knocked the **** out. Thanks Braxton, I will buy your NFL jersey.

P.S. The only good thing about Michigan lately is how the sports world and everyone in general has been helping out Flint. Check out my boi from OU Conor Ralph making it in the New York Times for his coverage of the Flint Water Crisis. #SUAC

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