#HypotheticalBoxingMatch: Who’s the Athlete King of Cincy? Votto and Dalton Duke It Out
By: Alex Marcheschi
I was thinking about this the other day: who’s the Athlete King of Cincinnati right now? A.J. Green is by far our best athlete, but I feel like we don’t treat him like so. I decided it comes down to Votto and Dalton. Yikes…not the most promising A-Listers, but not the worst either. So, who is is athlete king of Cincy right now? Only one way to find out: hypothetical boxing match!
Round One: Dalton and Votto both step out into the ring and check their bearings, analyze the situation, adjusts their cups and decide to go for the body first, except they actually get into a tickle fight. Both laugh it off, embrace and wait for the round to run out.
Round Two: Votto gets comfortable and out to an early hot start by landing a few combos. He’s feeling good and the rest of the round is promising…but will it last? History tells us NO.
Round Three: Andy comes out with a new haircut, a fresh rubber wedding ring and a bolt of confidence. He lands consecutive haymakers and a few combos, knocking Votto to the gound. But he gets up.
Rounds Four-Eleven: Votto has a few streaky rounds when he looks great and a few rounds when he looks like a welter weight. Dalton remains very efficient, rarely missing a punch and protecting the body well.
Round Twelve: Votto and Andy go at it until they’re left leaning on each other for support. Then, at the same exact time, they think… “this is my last shot, can’t blow this again,” they each go for the knockout punch aaaaand:
We really don’t have a sports king, do we?
** Can you think of another hypothetical boxing match you’d like to see? If yes, leave it in the comments…(comment button under headline)