The Chinese Are Trying to Steal Football From Us
By: Nick Boeing
So I guess China wants in on football now? As if being so obsessed with basketball that they made a Stephon Marbury museum (respect it) and having 1.4 billion people wasn’t enough, now they’re gonna go and make a new arena league that, I would guess, will be comparable to the Turkey Bowl I play in every Thanksgiving. Only difference is that the black guys are gonna go over there and all get about seven tuddy’s a game. What’s next? Porn that isn’t blurred? Have an original thought for just one time China.
But I’ll admit, I wanna watch every team play at least once. I can already tell that the Guangzhou Power are my team based on the logo alone.
But don’t sleep on the Dalian Dragon Kings and their very traditional Chinese logo.
It’s not like this is totally random, though. After a quick search, I found the best of the best Chinese football players. Feast your eyes…there’s literally a dude in shorts playing receiver in an actual game.
This one is a full 30 minutes long of whatever championship game they currently have over there so if you watch the whole thing you’re a trooper. Two minutes in and I’d seen all I needed to see: botched snaps on punts that turn into like 30-yard gains, short, fat guys getting outrageous amounts of carries and field goal posts that are literally soccer goals with sticks attached to them.
Look out NFL, the CAFL is a caged dog waiting to be unleashed.