Guy Wants To Get His 29 Miley Cyrus Tattoos Removed Because He Can’t Get A Girlfriend
Hull Daily Mail — Carl McCoid says he is “trapped” by his Miley Cyrus tattoos.
A Miley Cyrus mega-fan is getting his tattoos of the pop star removed, claiming they have “stopped him from getting a girlfriend”.
Carl McCoid, 43, has 29 Miley-inspired tattoos but has now enlisted the help of a Hull tattoo artist to cover them up after they left him “feeling trapped” and unable to find love.
The Bridlington man got his first tattoo in 2010 and has since covered his body in portraits, song lyrics and initials of the pop star he was once “obsessed” with. He said: “People can’t seem to see past the tattoos and it was having a very negative effect on my life where I felt trapped by them. I’ve just gone off her.” He has spent £2,700 on the tattoos, which he says seem to be the only talking point when he goes on dates. He said: “The conversation just seems to be centered around them and it just gets boring. I feel like I can’t move on.”
He also says he does not like the star anymore because of her provocative behavior. He said: “She’s doing silly things and I don’t want to be associated with the things that she does.”
Oh, you’ve felt embarrassed by your parents before? Maybe your dad dropped a lame joke in front of your new girlfriend in high school? Your mom shared an embarrassing childhood photo with your friends? At least neither of them has “Miley Cyrus” tattooed across the chest like the fruitiest gang member that has ever been born. His kids are beyond fucked. No situation screams “I’m going to grow up to kill people” more than having your dad blasting Party in the USA and Wrecking Ball while you’re trying to eat your Cheerios before school.
I wanted to write about this immediately after reading the headline, but it has proven difficult. I don’t want to outright come out of the gate and and say this guy has to kill himself because that would be rude, but this guy has got to do exactly that. You can’t come back from this move. Once you have one Miley Cyrus tattoo, it’s over. You could become a Neo-Nazi and dress up like Hitler every day for the rest of your life and people would look at you exactly as they do now.
I feel actual hatred and anger towards this guy. Yeah, man, you can’t get a girlfriend because you have 29 Miley Cyrus tattoos. I’m positive that’s the reason. I’m sure you’re a totally chill guy with a TERRIFIC personality and sense of humor; a guy who can shoot the shit and is fun to hang out with. I don’t doubt that for a second.
There are many shocking aspects of this story, but that fact that this guy’s name is Carl is probably the least shocking thing I’ve ever read. This is all coming from me, a 24 year old man who listens to Justin Bieber. You’re the worst Carl. The literal worst.