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Rapper Raises $6 to Persuade Kevin Durant to Play for the Wizards

By: JerryAnytime

Washington PostPaperboy Prince of the Suburbs says he can see the future and it includes Kevin Durant in a Wizards jersey. Russell Westbrook, too, unless that’s just a mirage.

Paper, the rapper who got his name by delivering the Bowie Blade-News as a kid, is a regular at Wizards games. He released a mixtape called “Young Wizard” last year and started a GoFundMe campaign this week in an effort to bring Durant, the NBA’s premier free agent and a Prince George’s County native, home.

“I have been dreaming of Kevin Durant playing for the Wizards since he was at Montrose Christian Academy,” Paper told The Post on Wednesday.

How does he plan to lure the Thunder star to D.C.? With a lot of love, a little bit of magic and $20 million of straight cash, homey. From the “Help Bring Kevin Durant to D.C.” GoFundMe page:

After one day, the campaign had raised $6.

“I’m not discouraged because Rome wasn’t built in a day,” Paper said. “All we need is one million people with $20 or two million people with $10. I hold the Paperboy Prince blessing. I literally know that with my words and my energy and the Wizards fans behind me, we can make anything happen. We’re not the Raptors. What kind of name for a team is that? We’re the Wizards. Literally magic is in our name. It’s about believing in the impossible. We’re going to make the impossible happen. That’s what being a Wizard is about.”

lol rapper.jpg

I stand with Paperboy Prince. I don’t want to see Durant leave his OKC fellowship with Westbrook, but Paperboy makes some pretty valid points in his argument. “Literally magic is in our name,” he said. That’s some reasoning and logic that I didn’t even think about. Paperboy has got fucking magic on his side! Thankfully there are no other teams in the NBA that have any magic whatsoever on their side.

mj magic

This GoFundMe reaffirms my firm belief that when you do anything in life, set the bar as low as possible, and stumble over it. Princeboy’s first mistake was making this song; not exactly a club banger, but it’ll get the people going.  His second mistake was making a GoFundMe for one of the richest, most premier athletes in the universe. His third and final mistake was setting the goal at $20,000,000 dollars.

I do genuinely think Paperboy is a funny guy though. Throwing shade at the Toronto Raptors from absolutely out of nowhere was hysterical. Also, any guy who can wear a Gameboy as a necklace is a guy that I can rally behind any day. Paper can bang out some Pokémon Blue or Frogger whenever he pleases.

The GoFundMe is officially at $52, so luckily he only has about $19,999,948 more dollars to go. As Paper said, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”Unfortunately for the rapper, a quick Google search will let you know that it took 1,009,491 days to build Rome. So, hopefully KD will be in a Wizards jersey in 2765 years.

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