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I’m Not Really Surprised that a Russian Cut Off His Friend’s Penis

By: Nick Boeing

Via Mirror

A Russian man has been detained after using an axe to sever his friend’s penis, say police.

The two villagers were said by police to be arguing about the size of their manhoods during a drinking session in the Urals region of Bashkortostan.

It is alleged that a 52-year-old man grabbed the axe and first struck his 47-year-old friend on the head, before chopping off the man’s penis.

A police spokesman said: “Over two days the men were binge drinking , which led to a violent argument.”

“When words were exhausted, the attacker pulled out an axe and first struck the opponent on the head, then cut off his manhood.”

I know I’m mostly supposed to write about sports and what not, but this is too much real world shit to ignore. Keep this in mind if you ever think that visiting Russia is a good idea. Too many vodka tonics, next thing you know, you’re a Ken doll. Basic weekend in Russia.

Anyways, I see a headline about a donger getting sent to the guillotine and my heart drops into the pit of my stomach, but at the same time, I need to know more. How do you end up in that situation? How drunk are you that you think ‘I’m sick of this guy…off with his willy.’ Granted, it’s Russia, so literally anything is possible.

I’ve had many drunk arguments with my friends and have slung many insults toward the genital region of those same friends, but, so far, it has never ended with an axe-wielding circumcision. Can’t even say I’ve ever had a blacked out argument over who has the biggest member. I won’t count it out; only time will tell.

sliced meat.jpg
Imagine how fast this all had to have gone down for it to have actually happened. Just whipped out his axe like a wallet in a strip club, bopped him over the head hard enough to disorient him and with one mighty blow, cut off his pride. Like the world’s greatest heist for all of the super-feminists out there.
ax guy.jpg
At least the guy who did the cutting doesn’t have the smaller of the two anymore. A classic case of addition by subtraction.
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