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2016 US Open Preview: Patrick Reed and His Choker Necklace Looking Strong

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*Editor’s Note: Welcome Patrick Guetle to The PUP List as Lead Golf Reporter, City Life Correspondent and Resident Handsome Guy. He’s a lifelong friend and the quintessential Westsider, even though he went to St. X. (He also has a closet stocked with J. Crew and Lululemon gear, don’t worry, it’s a New York City thing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Welcome our first Bomber to the staff, he already took a shot at Elder, so this is working out well. 

By: Patrick Guetle

The US Open is approaching rapidly and it always seems to keep us on our toes, even if there is clear-cut favorite. Year after year, the controversial rough that looks like it hasn’t seen a lawnmower in a coon’s age and the greens that look similar to your kitchen floor are primed and ready to be torn apart by the best of the best.

This year’s stage is set in Pittsburgh at the Oakmont Country Club, which has been ridiculed by many for removing 7,500 trees in the 90s during the wee hours of the morning, when it was pitch black, to conceal it from public knowledge. Like we wouldn’t realize you cut down a forest when we woke up from dreaming about being saved by a Baywatch lifeguard. I don’t know the thought process behind that, but then again I don’t relate to anyone from Pittsburgh, so it makes sense.  

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Yikes

Supposedly, the course is back playing the way it was designed to play when it was built back in 1903. As for the field itself, don’t look for another no-name like Danny Willet to stun the world and sneak in the back door when nobody is watching to steal the hardware. I’m also very certain that America’s new favorite boy band (Rickie, Smylie, Justin, Minus Jordan) are chill with playing Jordan Belfort (song) on repeat during SB ‘16 and being super content being social media stars rather than major champions.

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Sweet Chinese tats, Ricky

I guess that makes Spieth the Harry Styles of the group, or is he Zayn? You be the judge.

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We’re leaning toward Zayn

One thing that I am judging is Bubba Watson’s decision to wear new high-top, off-brand golf shoes that look worse that Matt Kuchar’s Sketchers. If I was Matt Kuchar, I would send a little gift to Bubba for alleviating him from being the butt of all jokes after this weekend because the majority of people watching this weekend are going to ask themselves, “what are THOSE?!?” when watching Bubba stand over a putt.

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Bubba’s new kicks…classic case of old guy trying to hang with the young bucks

Don’t look for Watson to have a chance this week either, because it looks like he is having too much fun during practice rounds.

Look for these guys to take the cake:

It’s hard to ignore the dominance of Jason Day since moving to number one in the world and I think this week, players will have to rely on their short game and there is no one better in the business than the Aussie from C-Bus. Pretty safe pick since he has won 7 of his last 17 tournaments. The only thing that could get in his way is his vertigo and you never know when that might strike.

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#familygoals

The US Open is all about controlling your emotions, because in all honesty the playing conditions are not fair. So I can’t think of anyone more calm and collected during the round than Jordan Spieth, right? Wrong! He is the biggest whiner on the course, but is the most clutch putter in the world, so be prepared for hear Jordy to talk to his ball like it is listening to him.

It’s very important that you hit fairways during the US Open, mainly because of the gnarly rough, so when it comes to driving accuracy Henrik Stenson is the crème de la crème. Keep in mind, he is a pansy and hits 3 wood off the tee to have more control.  I’m taking length over control everyday of the week, but maybe that’s why I’m not on tour. If he hits fairways he will be in the mix on Sunday.

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Stenson doing the classic hardguy pose, pumping up those forearms

When the condition toughen, Patrick Reed starts salivating. He’s another guy with an amazing short game and an even better killer instinct. This guy doesn’t believe in the fitness hype around golf, but he has been light years ahead of everybody with the choker necklace fad as he sports one every weekend. Look for him to break through this week and win his first major because of it.

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Reed rocking the classic Wyoming trip look

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