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Life’s Good When You’re A Powerful Academic Institution (That Happens to Have Sports Teams)

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By: Alex Marcheschi

By now, you’ve probably heard that six Notre Dame football players were arrested over the weekend.

Or, maybe you haven’t. 

Powerful academic institutions have a unique way of burying negative press, pretty #nice perk huh?

 

I’m very open about hating Notre Dame…even though I’m Catholic, have very close friends that went/go there and some family that went there. I don’t know what it is, but as soon as I can remember developing memories, I’ve always hated the Fighting Irish. It might have something to do with early memories of Jimmy Clausen.

clauden

nice

However, I am a #journalist and I must remain fair and balanced. I’m not shitting on Notre Dame for having players that got arrested, that literally happens everywhere. In fact, most of us probably should’ve been arrested at least once in our lives. I’m shitting on the media and the industry as a whole for deciding to collectively bury this story. If this happened somewhere like Ohio State or Florida State, it would lead every sports TV and Radio show. Hey sports media:

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When powerful, largely white, academic institutions have something like this happen, they have the power and connections within the media to issue a widespread “hush hush” order. The same thing happened with one of my favorite teams: Vanderbilt football.

Vandy, another widely respected academic institution, somehow managed to sweep a very real rape case under the national media rug. On top of that, James Franklin, who was Vandy’s coach at the time of the crime, bolted and got hired BY PENN STATE of all places. To put it very simply, there are no morals in sports, especially college football.

james frnak

sly as a muhhhh

I don’t wanna come off too angry, but this has become a lather, rinse, repeat type of situation in college athletics. No one even bats an eye anymore.

The SEC runs rampant with sketchiness, they have the booster’s money to buy off police and judges. Powerful academic institutions like ND & Vandy have the money and media connections to basically create their own news. I’m obviously not breaking news here, but we do need to keep this in mind.

We’re all degenerates for investing serious time and money into these sports leagues. But hey, it sure does make fall weekends unreal, and I can’t even lie and say I’ll stop watching.

p.s. – If you’re a degenerate sports fan like me, listen to our NFL podcast that we do. Sorry, I’m in the media now, gotta shamelessly plug shit.

double p.s. – I wonder if it matters that Notre Dame has a giant TV deal with NBC and the SEC has an even bigger TV deal with ESPN? Probably not.

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1 Comment »

  1. Esteemed Writer,

    Sadly, and truthfully, the profundity of your journalistic integrity knows no limits. The Atlantic Ocean’s Laurentian Abyss has nothing on the depths of your truth-telling.

    It is time to come to grips with reality, we readers can agree with your analysis; and, I’ll summarize, Vanderbilt Football and Notre Dame Football both SUCK!!!!!!!!

    Excluding Kyle Rudolph and Tommy Kraemer and any Elder Alumnus who may or may not have played at ND or VU……….Mike Kraemer played at VU.

    Let’s take a look, shall we PUPsters!?

    ARE BOTH SCHOOLS PRIMARILY WHITE, ACADEMIC INSTITUTIONS? YES & YES

    ARE BOTH SCHOOLS RANKED IN U.S. NEWS & WORLD REPORT’S 2016 TOP 20 *UNIVERSITIES? YES & YES (Vandy is 15th while ND is 18th)

    *ND does not have a Medical School, Pharmacy School, Dentistry School or a dedicated Nursing School-The word “university” denotes universal studies.
    For Example: The University of Cincinnati has Law, Business, Nursing, Pharmacy, Medical, Engineering & Dentistry Schools, just like Vandy, sadly ND cannot make the same claim. Therefore, henceforth, I shall be referring to ND as ND”C” or Notre Dame College. The Undergraduate Liberal Arts School located in Notre Dame, Indiana, excluding St. Mary’s and Holy Cross is very nice. Where are the colleges in South Bend, IN? Oh that’s right, NDC changed their zip-code years ago 3 to preserve their “Lilly-White” reputation as a safe and elite academic institution which is not associated with the slum which is SOUTH BEND, Indiana. Don’t Worry PUPsters I’ll make sure U.S. News & World Report gets it right next year. Oh the University of Cincinnati has its own Hospital and Hospital System btw. Oh, so does Vanderbilt University, but, I digress.

    ARE BOTH SCHOOLS LOCATED IN VANDERBILT, TENNESSEE? NO & NO

    DO BOTH SCHOOLS MAKE IT AFFORDABLE FOR THE QUALIFIED, UNDERPRIVILEDGED STUDENT NO & NO (Please see http://time.com/money/4102312/colleges-low-income-cheap-affordable/?xid=emailshare) I guess NDC is a little tight on cash-flow….Hmmmmmm? If you can get into VU and don’t have the money, how does $ 3,625 sound?

    ARE BOTH SCHOOLS LOCATED IN NOTRE DAME, INDIANA? NO & NO

    HAVE BOTH SCHOOLS SUSPENDED A QB FOR CHEATING AND LET HIM START A YEAR LATER? NO & NO (Please see Everett Golson)

    HAS EITHER FOOTBALL PROGRAM WON A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP IN THE LAST 25 YEARS? NO & NO

    DO BOTH FOOTBALL PROGRAMS HAVE ALL OF THEIR “AWAY” GAMES AT NEUTRAL SITES? NO & NO

    DO BOTH FOOTBALL PROGRAMS GET KILLED IN THE POST SEASON? YES & YES (See Alabama, Ohio State, Oregon State, U of Cincilicious)

    DO BOTH FOOTBALL PROGRAMS HAVE AN EXCLUSIVE NBC CONTRACT? NO & NO

    ARE BOTH FOOTBALL PROGRAMS IN POWER CONFERENCES? NO & NO

    DO BOTH FOOTBALL PROGRAMS HAVE CLEBRITY QBs? YES & YES (See Jordan Rodgers, latest “winner” of The Bachelorette & THIS GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!……………………………………………..

    https://www.google.com/search?q=joe+montana&biw=1366&bih=673&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&sqi=2&ved=0ahUKEwir6p7P09XOAhVJXR4KHY6bBFQQ_AUIBigB#imgrc=_

    So you can see PUPsters, the answers to the above questions are absolutely the same. There is no distinguishing the two academic institutions or their football programs, which leads any reasonable person to conclude NDC and VU both have football programs who could use a little help.

    Much Love & Two Fingers,

    Big PUPpy

    P.S. Oh yeah, and this guy!………………..https://www.google.com/search?q=jay+cutler&biw=1366&bih=673&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&sqi=2&ved=0ahUKEwiN663O1NXOAhUDGR4KHR-CBysQ_AUIBygC&dpr=1#tbm=isch&q=jay+cutler+bears

    #MyLittleBrotherIsANDCAlumnus

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