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PSA to Our Current Pop Stars: You’re Trash, Retire

By: Alex Marcheschi

The VMAs happened last night and I didn’t watch at all (humblebrag). This is not because I think I’m better than the VMAs, or because I have some sort of superior moral compass, but because I’m not a fan of shitty live performances.

Our “pop stars” are raw trash….stinking, shit-ass piles of garbage. This is what Rihanna tried to call a performance last night.

Review:

trash.png

I mean, clearly Rihanna is talented, and I know she’s had some great performances in the past. But, the people we call pop icons nowadays truly can’t even hold a candle to the king. You look all over Twitter and people are bowing down to lip-syncing go-go dancers. A friend shared the video below on Facebook this morning, and after watching it, I realized that no one will ever come close to catching Mike.

MJ’s swag is the last unbreakable record, even more unattainable than DiMaggio’s 56-game hitting streak.  

Look at the video below, that’s THE FIRST TIME he did the moonwalk. That’s history. People will be watching that video until the world ends. Baseball will be dead way before the legend of MJ is.

Social media has ruined our idea of a great musical performance. The only truly great musical performances I’ve seen on any sort of national TV stage are the three below.

Those were amazing, but even those don’t sniff Mike’s jock. Bruno went out of his mind and reered a drum solo for like a minute, but he can’t sustain it. I’m not trying to belittle our current artists, I just don’t know if people our age really respect Michael Jackson enough. Watch the video below.

PEOPLE WERE FAINTING AND BEING CARRIED OUT OF THE VENUE BY MEDICS BECAUSE THEY COULDN’T HANDLE SEEING MIKE LIVE. MJ BRIEFLY PASSED OUT HIMSELF.

That’s it. DiMaggio. Killed everyone else dead.

kncoked out.gif

Compared to Michael Jackson…Beyonce, Rihanna…even JT, they don’t come close. We need to calm down with calling performances great, it waters down the actually great ones.

Every once and a while an artist will mess around and come close to MJ, but no one will ever top him. It’s like the DiMaggio hit record, people might get up to a 32-game hitting streak or something, but that 56 will never fall. Neither will Mike.

 

 

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1 Comment »

  1. Esteemed Writer,

    Overwhelming.

    Overwhelming describes both your editorial commentary and the stark contrast between dumpster diving and appreciating a true artist and art itself.

    Less is more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Check this out PUPpy People. It is a cover, it is a relatively contemporary artist, and she has no where to hide!

    Much Love & Two Fingers,

    Big PUPpy

    #ContentMostlySucks

    P.S. Janis would be proud.

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