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College Football Week 2 Preview: Regression

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By: Adam Bross

An erudite man once said, “When you have expectations, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.”  What Ryan Reynolds meant was not every week can entertain the same hype as the first week we experienced in college football.  Sometimes, we must take a step back and relax, allow a week for breathing and week where the closest spread for the AP Top 25 is 11.5 because well Tennessee almost lost to Appalachian State, so they should be Virginia Tech by a little more than a tuddy plus field goal.  No fears, college football.  As Salvador Dali once quoth, “Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.”  That quote also goes out to Oklahoma.

Play of Week 1: Josh Dobbs Fumble

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The Braintrust had a close vote between this Dobbsian fumble, Texas State’s triple-overtime trick play, and Dalvin Cook’s fumble out of bounds, but decided no play would affect the playoff more from week 1 than this the lucky recovery by Tennessee in its own endzone.  The Vols have aspirations, but a loss to Appalachian State would have all but thwarted those aspirations.  A win in overtime?  That’ll be forgotten by the end of Week 2.  Jokes, aside, 50% of College Football National Champions since 2014 have lost to Virginia Tech.

2016 Heisman Front-runner: JT Barrett, Ohio State QB

The year of DeShaun Watson trickled out to a slow start, but JT took the keyes from dad fully this season and he was not shy about running the supercar in 2016.  JT was timid last season with Cardale lurking at every mistake, but knowing this is his team has the Buckeye’s captain and stud looking to break every dangum Big Ten record this season.  Playing a paltry Bowling Green team helps, but Derrick Henry benefitted from stat building against lackluster foes last season.  Every touchdown pass helps when year-end comes along and the riffraff forgets that 7 of those 40 tuddies came against BGSU.  Now if we could clean up that first possession…

The Game You Obviously Will Watch: Your Alma Mater?

Last week’s buffet left this question a little easier answered.  Week 2 gives us little to be excited about on a national basis, but if you consider yourself a college football fan and you are not flipping on your favorite squad, then why even concern yourself with a misnomer in the first place?  Only a barbarian would forgo an entire weekend of college football.  Very few gifts are as leisurely and pleasant as watching the amateurs battle it out, so shed that sense of disappointment and tune into something!

The Game You Obviously Should Watch: Ar-Kansas @ AP #15 Texas Christian

Ar-Kansas looked slow out of the gate, but what can you expect from a team being led by Bret Bielema?  Last year, the Hoges…pardon my jokes….STUMBLED!

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out of the gates as well by losing to Toledo week 2…and Texas Tech week 3…, but rebounded to be a dangerous team in the SEX-iest Western Division in America.  The Hoges will put up a fight against Texas Christian despite traveling into Fort Worth for the game….anyone smelling upset alert?

 The Game You Obviously Will Not Watch, But Should: Iowa State @ AP #16 Iowa

A week after losing to FCS Northern Iowa, Iowa State leaves Ames behind to play a seemingly stronger opponent, but this is Rivalry Week type stuff where you can never know how the game is going to go.  “But Adam, Iowa State has been terrible forever,” you scream after your fistful of Smarfood White Cheddar.  “WRONG!”…well, I mean, “RIGHT, BUT THEY HAVE FOUND RECENT SUCCESS AGAINST THEIR CROSS STATE RIVAL BY WINNING THREE OF THE LAST FIVE.”  Then you remember things I’ve said before and whisper, “Good thing these are the same players as the last five years.”……Still, I’m promising a good game.

Week 2 Upset Alerts

Last week: 2-0 (Houston def. Oklahoma, Southern Miss def. Kentucky)

DISCLAIMER: THESE ARE PICKS FOR TEAMS TO BE UPSET.  I’M NOT SAYING THERE’S A CHANCE….I’M TELLING YOU THAT THESE TEAMS ARE GOING TO LOSE

Penn State at Pittsburgh (-5.0):

This is a massive year for James Franklin at Penn State.  He departed from Vanderbilt as one of the most sought after big program candidates and has been pretty okay at Penn State.  This year he lacks his former five-star Quarterback and a motley of defensive players who excelled on the line last season, but if Franklin ever wants to be a serious threat to Urban and Harbaugh, he’ll need to start winning games against mediocre non-conference opponents.  Enter Pittsburgh who looked very okay week 1 against Villanova.  Penn State’s defense should be able to keep Pitt from scoring more than 20, so we’ll see if the offense can find a way to reach the low 20’s to secure a victory.

Washington State @ Boise State (-11.5):

Wanted to try and sneak a second pick in here, and I’m liking Washington State to visit the Blue and take care of Boise State.  The Broncos are renowned for winning at home, but they rarely have Power Five teams visit (more lately).  Luke Falk will need to be slinging the ball around and Wazzu will need a better effort than against Eastern Washington, but we know E Dub can score.  Argh!

Picks Against The Spread

*Editor’s note: I’m an idiot and couldn’t figure out how to copy and paste this, these are screenshots*

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More of Everything, Please

An erudite man once said, “When you have expectations, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.”  What Ryan Reynolds meant was not every week can entertain the same hype as the first week we experienced in college football.  Sometimes, we must take a step back and relax, allow a week for breathing and week where the closest spread for the AP Top 25 is 11.5 because well Tennessee almost lost to Appalachian State, so they should be Virginia Tech by a little more than a tuddy plus field goal.  No fears, college football.  As Salvador Dali once quoth, “Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.”  That quote also goes out to Oklahoma.

Play of Week 1: Josh Dobbs Fumble

Image result for tennessee - App state gif

The Braintrust had a close vote between this Dobbsian fumble, Texas State’s triple-overtime trick play, and Dalvin Cook’s fumble out of bounds, but decided no play would affect…

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