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I Want to Fight Richard Sherman


By: JerryAnytime

SEAHAWKS.COMRichard Sherman could barely walk off the field after the effort he gave playing five quarters of football and 90-plus snaps in this past Sunday night’s 6-6 tie against the Cardinals in Arizona. But on Wednesday afternoon at Renton’s Virginia Mason Athletic Center, the Seahawks Pro Bowl cornerback was back in good spirits sporting an entertaining new look, one he hopes come Monday night will help him fly under the radar as he takes his young son, Rayden, trick-or-treating.

Sherman greeted reporters while wearing a Harry Potter robe, walking to the podium wielding what looked to be a replica of Albus Dumbledore’s wand in his right hand, all while the Harry Potter theme song played on his phone.

“You’ve got to bring your own music, this is a serious occasion,” Sherman said. “It’s Halloween. My son told me he wanted me to wear something, so it’s happening. It’s happening.”

Donning the Gryffindor house shield on his chest, Sherman met challenging questions from the media head on.

Q: What’s tougher, playing five quarters of football, or Quidditch?

Sherman: “Five quarters of football is pretty tough, but Quidditch — the beaters, the chasers, trying to find the golden snitch, things like that — that’s tough. Five quarters of football, though, in the elements, I’d say that’d take the cake.”

Q: Favorite book in the series?

Sherman: “Order of the Phoenix, I think that’s the best one.”

Q: How did that costume come about?

Sherman: “When you’re a wizard like we are out here, sometimes you have to show it to the Muggles out in the world. We’ve got a lot of wizards — my son’s a wizard, Earl Thomas does some magical things, Michael Bennett is Black Santa but he’s also a wizard — so you know, you just have a good time. I just went to Harry Potter land, I felt like that was home.”

By absolutely no means am I above Harry Potter. I’ve watched all the movies, read all the books (no big deal), and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. I’ve been called Ron Weasley multiple times throughout my life, and I’ve worn that as a badge of honor, if for no other reason other than Ron gets to bang Emma Watson at the end of the story.

Let’s us not forget that Sherman claimed he was the best cornerback in the game, and threatened Michael Crabtree a mere two years ago.

I remember laughing my ass off watching that live. Erin Andrews had no idea what was happening, along with the rest of America.

So…you’re trying to tell me that that same guy is now dressing up in a full wizard costume for press conferences? As an average reader and English major, I’ve spent the majority of my adult life around people who enjoy reading, sometimes to a fault. I’ve seen people dress up as Harry Potter during class. It’s the saddest shit in the world. A grown ass man or woman in a wizard costume acting like they’re going to Expelliarmus their way into making friends while talking about butter beer. Honestly, get a real hobby like incessantly tweeting about Bieber every 25 minutes like a real person.

This is precisely the same situation as Von Miller calling himself a “nerd.” The only two 6’3, 275 pound body slamming nerds to exist in the history of the universe.

von.jpg “I’m a nerd, now.”

Now, I’m not saying these cats can’t be nerds. They’re obviously are smart as shit, and are proud to take on the nerd crown. What I’m saying is they’re disrespecting people like me, actual nerds. I don’t try. I actually try not to be a nerd, but by simply existing, I’m a nerd. I’m one of those people who are uncomfortable 90% of the time and used to rock bowl cuts and sketchers.

So, what’s it going to be Sherm? You can’t be the Stanford nerd and the tough guy. You gotta throw people into lockers or be thrown into lockers, you can’t do both.

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