Dugan’s Deliberations: NFL Week 8 in Review, Cousins Threw for 458 Yards On Us
By: Tyler Dugan
Bengals v. R words
They did it again folks!!!!! The Bengals tied!! Disaster. This game is what this season is going to be in a nutshell. Such a roller coaster. They are good, then they stink, then they are good, then they stink.
Truly no rhythm to it, but it looks like the Bengals are going to do the same old, probably get just close enough to playoff talk, then let it fall to an abysmal end. The Bengals secondary just let Kirk Cousins throw for 458 yards. FOUR HUNDRED FIFTY EIGHT. Boi. It is scary how quickly the defense has fallen off. Is this the beginning of the end? I hate to be that guy, but did anyone see this coming? I know we lost a lot on offense, but the offense hasn’t really been that bad. No one saw this coming out of the defense. I’m not sure what to even say about it.
We desperately need a freak linebacker, Tez is not that anymore, and I guess pray to the lord that William Jackson can be lock down? We need him bad.
Raiders v. Bucs
Freaky eyes Derek Carr did it again. Don’t look now, but the Raiders are really good. Michael Crabtree’s career finally took off. (Remember when the Raiders drafted Darius Heyward Bey over Michael Crabtree and everyone freaked out. Pretty weird/ironic that he is on the Raiders now and just dominating).
The Raiders are just finding ways to win. Pretty amazing. I love Jack Del Rio. 4th and 4 in OT, and going for it. Naturally rips a touchdown. Poetic.
Bills v. Pats
Dildo on the field. Biggest story line of the weekend was not Hilary’s emails, the World Series, the result of any NFL game, Clemson Florida State. It was that dildo flying out onto the field. It swept the nation. Just a magical sequence of events.
The guy just throws right into the middle of the play. Perfect toss, like Henry Rowengardner throwing back the home run ball, in Rookie of the Year. Right on target. Then seeing all the players just stare at it. Priceless. Could you imagine if Gronk got a hold of that dildo?! Would’ve broke the internet. Just such a Bills thing to do. The ref kicking it off the field. You could tell that he looked at the other ref and was like “what the f**k?!” Hey NFL, if you want your ratings to start going back up, start giving Bills fans sexual toys every week. Oh, the Pats won by a lot because they are good, and they have Tom Brady.
Jets v. Browns
Backup QB heaven in this game. I’m not even sure who the hell is playing quarterback for either of these teams. It’s honestly amazing how both of these franchises have had shitty quarterbacks for so long. You would think that they would eventually find a guy who is at least serviceable. I guess the Jets found that for a half of a year with Fitz but since then, miserable. Just remember Bengals fans, it could be worse.
Falcons v. Packers
Great game. Back and forth. Mo Sanu with the game winner. Was I wrong about the Falcons falling off?! No. It will happen. Just wait folks. How many more games are we going to watch the Packers lose before the R-E-L-A-X meme gets old and Packers fans really do need to start panicking.
That’s all I got folks. Hopefully next week we see more sexual toys fly onto the field.