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The 12 Days of Christmas: Cincinnati Sports Edition

 

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By: Alex Marcheschi

The 12 Days of Christmas are arguably the best stretch of bad weather days on the calendar. Thank God we decided to make Christmas in the winter, because if it wasn’t, I don’t know if I could get through it. My favorite part of Christmas season might be the excuse you have to just randomly drink hot chocolate whenever you want. If you mix in one of those bad boys during your daily coffee routine, it turns any day into a special one.

Anyway, I did this a while ago with my some of my favorite sports youtube videos, and that can be found here. Decided to fire the concept back up today with a Cincinnati themed edition featuring my favorite Cincinnati athletes to wear the numbers 1-12 on their jerseys, here we go:

#12 Zach Collaros

Please…please…I beg you, don’t sleep on the legacy of Zach Collaros. This dude was a pure playmaker, birthed from the football heavens. Need a 20 yard out route on a frozen rope? Done. Need a 75 yard explosive TD run up the gut? Done. Need someone to lead block for Pead? He’ll do it. The BCS Bearcats era was so beautiful and it hurts to even think about it.

#11 Kenny Satterfield 

Watch the first 30 seconds of that video. Marbles. So Pure. Satterfield is another legend who gets slept on far too often when it comes to Cincinnati sports lore. He had the green light no matter where he was on the court. The Chris Kyle of the squad.

#10 Romain Sato 

As a UC guy, Sato is one of the few Musketeers that I respect. I can’t explain why, maybe it’s the unreal name or the fact that he was yoked up like a boulder:

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Those old school Bearcat teams loved to mess with people, but even they left Sato alone. Beast.

#9 Carson Palmer

you’ll have to watch the video on YouTube because of the NFL’s rules -_-

I still don’t know which is worse: the Kenyon injury or the Carson injury? It’s probably Carson. If he didn’t get hurt, who knows what could’ve happened. The Bengals actually paid him too, it felt like a fairytale. But, of course, that damn Cincy juju cursed him and Kimo Von Whateverthefuh rolled up on his leg like a scumbag. RIP in Peace to the Carson era, it was awesome.

#8 Jeff Blake

I’ve never loved anything more than I love the headline of this YouTube video. That is a BOLD ASS claim. Gotta respect the heat though, plus when he did actually connect with Pickens it was a lightshow. Respect Jeff, respect. You had the odds stacked against you anyway.

#7 Alex Ochoa

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Alex Ochoa…pretty respectable utility guy for most of my childhood. Also he was the only Cincy athlete with my name so I was obviously a huge fan. This is a picture of him right after hitting a home run across the river into the living room of one of those riverfront mansions in Kentucky.

#6 Ryan Freel

First of all, a very serious RIP in Peace to Freel. He was everyone’s favorite player and that shirt the Reds made with the dirt stain printed on the shirt was absolutely legendary:

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Second of all, what a fricken’ menace on the diamond. He would literally run through a brick wall if you asked him to. How about the opening of that highlight reel? Going yack sauce off the Big Unit? That’s big time.

#5 Deonta Vaughn

The most underrated Bearcats basketball player of all time. He carried the program during the dark ages of the Andy Kennedy era after the fall of the Huggins. He’s the school’s all time three point leader, but he could get to the rack and dish out dimes too. He was a pleasure to watch.

#4 Brandon Phillips 

There was a period of time when B-Phil was the best defensive infielder on the planet. He still might be, but it’s definitely more up for debate nowadays. He was must-see TV when the Reds were contending for the division under Dusty. One of the best entertainer athletes the city has seen, up there with Chad.

#3 Jon Kitna

you’ll have to watch the video on YouTube because of the NFL’s rules -_-

That video doesn’t feature any Kitna Bengals highlights, and as sad as it is, I’ve looked pretty hard for them. Plus, Kitna highlights set to rap music is hysterical. He came in as a calming presence when Carson went down. We all knew it was over, but at least Kitna could make a few plays here and there, preach to the guys willing to better themselves after the game and give us a smile. God, I love Jon Kitna. Might get this pic tatted:

 

#2 Field Williams

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Field Williams was a GREAT shooter, but the fact that his name is “Field” might be even greater. Also, people forget he went full Brazilian soccer star/Yao Ming and put his first name on the back of his jersey:

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If that’s not a power move, I really don’t know what is. Vaugh is the school’s all-time leading three point shooter, but I might put my money on Field in a 1 v 1 shooting competition.

#1 Cashmere Wright

Don’t hurt ’em Cash!!! He was the JR Smith of Cincinnati Basketball. Whenever the ball left his hand, no matter where he was, you knew there was a chance it goes in. The clip above is so nice, he hit that fadeaway game winner and the buzzer went off mid flight. That’s what we like to call perfection.

I hope you enjoyed the list, happy holidays or whatever the millennials are saying nowadays.

 

 

 

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1 Comment »

  1. pretty devastated that you put Alex Ochoa (insert Major League scene where everyone’s asking “Who are these fuckin’ guys?”) on your list instead of Boomer Esiason. He doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment… but then again Cincinnati never deserved Boomer.

    ps Boomer’s God given name is Norman Julius “Boomer” Esiason. Try to find a better First/Middle name combo than Norman Julius. It is impossible.

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