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The Top 10 Rap Songs of 2016 (From the Perspective of a Very White Guy)

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By: Alex Marcheschi

I am a white person. A very, very white person. But, I love rap music.

In fact, it’s my favorite kind of music. While many are stuck judging 2016 as the worst year ever due to the sheer number of celebrity deaths (because that’s how we judge years now I guess), I’m here to tell you that this was the best year for rap music in quite some time.

The qualifier for this list is that the songs have to be easily recognizable as actual rap songs, meaning songs like “Summer Friends” and “Feel No Ways” don’t qualify since they mix genres. My idea of rap music is early 2000s with shockingly graphic and witty lyrics on top of “hard” beats. Let the games begin.

10. Bad and Boujie – Migos ft. Lil Uzi Vert

This is a classic rap song with an unmistakably awesome beat and great lyrics…until Lil Uzi Vert comes in at the end and spazzes all over the track. The reason this song is only at 10 is because of his trash verse. Other than that, it’s great. Quavo is about to take over the world.

9. Broccoli – D.R.A.M. ft. Lil Yachty

The fact that this song contains a reference to one of the most tragic school shootings of all time, but somehow still maintains an extremely positive vibe is reason enough for it to make the top ten. Put this on and everybody in the room will love it.

8. Good Drank – 2 Chainz ft. Gucci Mane & Quavo

Gucci’s verse in this song is pure genius, just raw mastery of the English language:

I’m taking the cheese and killing the rats
Gucci Mane call me the cat with the rat
I’m swervin’ but I’m in back of the back
I’m Persian, man I got hoes from Iraq
I’m servin’ I pay a bird for that
He nervous I ain’t got no word for that
He heard and want all of his purses back
He mixing the seal with the percocets
She perfect and she got perky breast
I just want some of that turkey neck

I might get “he nervous I ain’t got no word for that” tatted. Couple that with beat and this song gooooes.

7. No Problem – Chance The Rapper ft. Lil Wayne & 2 Chainz 

The first time I heard this song I genuinely thought Lil Wayne was 100% back. It was like Christmas morning, I thought one of the true legends had been resuscitated. It appears I may have been wrong, but this song will live for eternity as one of his best verses at the ripe old age of 34. It’s also amazing that he’s only 34. “I got problems bigger than these boys. My deposits, they be on steroids” is such a nice line.

6. THat Part – ScHoolboy Q ft. Kanye West 

Kanye’s opening few lines are probably the most creative lines of the year:

Okay, okay, okay
Okay, okay, okay! (That part)
Beggars can’t be choosers, bitch this ain’t Chipotle
Nigga with an attitude, I feel like O’Shea
Walkin’, livin’ legend, man I feel like Kobe
I just left the strip club, got some glitter on me
Wifey gonna kill me, she the female OJ

“Beggars can’t be choosers, bitch this ain’t Chipotle” will forever be in my vocabulary. And honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Kim ends up murdering him. Also, don’t sleep on ScHoolboy Q’s opening verse, so solid. What a banger.

5. Drug Dealers Anonymous – Pusha T ft. Jay-Z

This song basically entails Pusha T and Jay-Z bragging about how they actually deal drugs, and I for one love it. Pusha T is probably the actual hardest dude in the rap game and I LOVE Jay-Z opening his verse with a Tomi Lahren sound clip. So choice. Of course, this is the song Jay-Z dropped the “Damn Daniel, FBI keep bringing them all white vans through” line. What a beast.

4. pick up the phone – Young Thug & Travis Scott ft. Quavo

Just an unreal vibe to this song, so great. When Quavo starts his verse with, “pick up the phone, Macauley Culkin baby, Home Alone” that’s about as good as it gets. If you could buy stock in rappers, I’d buy a hefty share of Quavo stock. Everything he touches turns to gold *European soccer announcer voice*.

3. Black Beatles – Rae Sremmund ft. Gucci Mane 

This song took the world over, partly in thanks to the Mannequin Challenge, but still. It’s just so damn catchy, impossible not to sing along. The song would have been great even without the Gucci feature, but getting him just took it to the next level. However, even with a legend like Gucci on the song, Slim’s lines toward the end stole the show:

I had haters when I was broke, I’m rich, I still got haters
I had hoes when I was broke, I’m rich, I’m still a player
I wear leather Gucci jackets like its still the 80’s
I’ve been blowin’ OG Kush, I feel a lil’ sedated
I can’t worry about a broke nigga or a hater
Black Beatle, bitch, me and Paul McCartney related

2. Pt. 2 – Kanye West ft. Desiigner 

When it comes to blaring a song in your car, this is the song of the year. It’s Desiigner’s hit song “Panda,” except with a better beat and unreal opening from Kanye. Even though his verse is only 27 seconds long, we learn more about Kanye here than we do about other artists in entire albums:

Up in the morning, miss you bad
Sorry I ain’t called you back
The same problem my father had
All his time, all he had, all he had
In what he dreamed
All his cash, market crashed
Hurt him bad, people get divorced for that
Drops some stacks pops is good
Momma pass in Hollywood
If you ask, lost my soul
Driving fast, lost control
Off the road, jaw was broke
‘Member we all was broke
‘Member I’m coming back
I’ll be taking all the stacks

The thing with Kanye is, when he says he “lost his soul” he genuinely means he lost his soul. He doesn’t reference his car crash much, but he decided to in this song and the tune’s intensity is basically that of a car crash.

  1. Champions – Kanye West ft. Gucci Mane, Desiigner, Travis Scott, Big Sean, 2 Chainz, Yo Gotti & Quavo

This was one of those rare circumstances where Kanye brings a bunch of friends together to make a masterpiece and everyone BROUGHT THE HEAT. Kanye opening with “pray for me, I’m about to hit the ‘Ye button” was wild, especially considering he was hospitalized not too much later. There’s not a bad verse in the song, you can tell everyone was trying to outdo each other, but I’m going to give the crown to Gucci’s second verse:

She say she don’t want a chump, baby want a champ
She say money make her cum, Gucci make her damp
1017’s the Squad, Gucci Mane’s the stamp
And he don’t ever sleep, he’s a fuckin’ vamp
I heard your bitch ride on the bus, you don’t give a damn
My bitch drive a Lamb’, you should call her ma’am
I love my Auntie Jean, but fuck Uncle Sam
I’m a walkin’ money machine, check my Instagram
Never test the kid so I don’t have to clown
My city treat me like a king, I should wear a crown
And I don’t really fuck around
I gave my bitch two mil’ cause she stuck around

“I love my Auntie Jean, but fuck Uncle Sam” is so damn funny. I probably listened to this song 200 straight times driving from Jersey to Ohio once and I don’t regret a second of it.

I hope you enjoyed the list, feel free to bang it on NYE. Leave your comments because I’m sure people think some gems got left out.

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