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Calling All Fat Guys in Cincy, The Bengals O-Line Needs You

By: Alex Marcheschi

Cincinnati has lost one of its founding fathers. That’s right, Andrew Whitworth is packing his bags for the city of angels. The Rams threw a boatload of money at him and he couldn’t say no.

We can’t be mad at Whit, the prospect of living in LA and making that kind of cheddar is too hard to pass up. The Bengals don’t pay offensive lineman that type of money, because offensive lineman don’t score touchdowns. Duh.

As a result, the Bengals’ already abysmal O-Line is now even worse after losing their anchor. Poor Dalton, he’s probably scared for his life. Here’s what our current projected O-Line looks like, because we will most likely lose Zeitler too:

Barring a miracle, the O-Line is FUCKED. I honestly wouldn’t put it past management for this to be the reason we’re not moving McCarron. They know that the odds of Dalton getting hurt just skyrocketed. Unreal. The worst management team in professional sports is at it again.

Being completely serious, if you’re a fat guy in Cincinnati right now, hire a trainer and hit up Bengals training camp. You have a legit shot at a roster spot.

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