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I Would Like to Formally Apologize For Having Lonzo Ball’s Name on My Lips

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By: Alex Marcheschi

The Bearcats had no chance last night. No chance, I was in a delusional state when I wrote that blog about Lonzo Ball not wanting a street fight. That dude is the past, present and the future. That dude is the reason NBA teams tank. That dude is an inch taller than James Harden with a wingspan five inches longer than Kyrie’s and a three point sniper scope comparable to Klay Thompson. That dude is an ALIEN.

I had never seen him play a full game until last night, and I have to say, I no longer think his dad is an idiot. I’d give that kid a billion dollar shoe deal right now. Troy Caupain is an amazing point guard and he had no chance guarding him last night. Gary Clark tried to guard him a few times, but he didn’t have the quickness to keep up. Most college teams simply have no answer for a guy like that.

The Bruins got a terrible draw having to play Kentucky in the Sweet 16 because they’re one of the few teams in the dance with the freaks to match him. Lonzo, this is me apologizing, please forgive me. Please don’t harm my family.

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