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The Warriors 3-0 Lead Confirms What We Knew Last July, Forgot, And Now Know Again



By: Alex Marcheschi

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was the Fourth of July in 2016, I was very hungover and Kevin Durant announced he was joining the Golden State Warriors. As a result, I felt like I got hit by not one train, but two trains. Corona Extra was the engineer of the first train, and the Slim Reaper was the engineer of the other.

On a day when the skies explode with fireworks, sports Twitter did the same. I’m the most irrational Cavs fan on earth, but even I have to admit it looks like the Larry O’Brien will reside in Oakland for the foreseeable future. In the moment, on that dreary Fourth of July day, we all knew that The 2017 Finals were over. But, by the time the actual series rolled around this year, we forgot about how absurd the Warriors are because LeBron and the Cavs appeared to have evolved even further. The Cavs rolled through the East, which has legitimately good teams, but the earth hasn’t seen a basketball team like the Warriors.

There has never been a team that will slash your throat and stomp on your children the instant you make a mistake like this Warriors team does. It’s scary, I’ve watched most of these games clutching my childhood blanket. Here’s the spin zone of the century: LeBron is so damn great that he made us forget just how absurdly explosive the Warriors really are. No one in their right mind should think this Warriors team is capable of losing a seven game series. They added Kevin Durant to a 73-win team that barely lost in seven games to Cleveland. If you were to briefly explain the game of basketball and this situation to a remote African tribesman, he would laugh in your face and tell you that the Warriors would easily win in 2017. LeBron morphed our minds and convinced us he was great enough to take down the daunting dark side, but it’s simply not possible. I thought James was on such a higher level that his play could cancel out the tornado of talent Golden State has. It looks like I was wrong.

The idea that Kevin Durant is better than LeBron has begun to take root and sprout limbs. That idea is ludicrous, KD plays on a team that has 1/5 of the top 20 players in the NBA. Think about it like this, the Cavs could add Paul George and still arguably have less talent than Golden State. KD is a beast, and he’s been the second best player in the NBA for the past five years, but he is not better than LeBron. If James and Durant were to switch roles in this series, the Warriors would win by 40 every game. I respect the hell out of Kawhi Leonard, but anyone who says they’d take him over KD is simply incorrect. Even if Kawhi never got hurt, the Warriors would have won that series, they may not have swept, but they would have won. In this Finals, we are seeing just how dynamic KD really is. His arms are cartoonishly long, he’s grossly athletic and his jump shot is an afterthought. It’s been amazing to see.

People are saying the Cavs need to make some moves this offseason to contend with Golden State, and to that I say “yes, obviously.” But, this idea that they should move K Love is insane. He’s an amazing talent, to get rid of him would be a fatal error. If the Cavs didn’t go on that now infamous scoring drought to end the game last night, it was K Love’s dominating display of rebounding expertise that led to the Cavs lead in the first place. What the Cavs are missing in this series is reliable, skilled backups like Delly and Mosgov, but even if they still had those guys, I don’t think they could beat the Warriors four out of seven times. In fact, I truly believe that it would be impossible to construct a team, within the current collective bargaining agreement, that could beat Golden State four out of seven times. In today’s day and age, we seem to think there’s a solution for everything, but the hard truth is sometimes there’s simply nothing you can do. This Warriors team is so deep that former Finals MVP Andre Iguodala doesn’t even get mentioned. This Warriors team broke into my home, had consensual sex with my wife, convinced her to leave me, represented her in divorce court and walked away with my money, my home and my car. They neutered the entire NBA. They are the Alien Emperor and they have forced me to bow down using only their brain waves.

There’s no way to contend with this Warriors team. Only they can defeat themselves, we may have to wait until after the 2019 season when Klay Thompson is a free agent to see a competitive Finals. They space the floor too well, someone is always open and they do not miss, literally. The Warriors didn’t cheat, they stumbled upon a once in a lifetime opportunity to add a once in a lifetime talent to an already once in a lifetime roster. By my math, that means the Warriors are a once in eternity team. For as long as this big dumb rock spins in space, the Golden State Warriors, as they currently exist, will be the best sports team to ever walk the planet. To borrow from the modern day philosopher Pedro Martinez, I just tip my cap and call the Warriors my daddy. It stings. It really, truly stings, but there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Kevin Durant broke through the fourth wall, spit in our face and started laying bricks to construct a fifth wall. The Warriors have commandeered the NBA and, barring a true miracle, no one else will touch the precious for a long, long time.


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