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Bengals Season Preview: With The Easiest Schedule & Flacco Injured, There’s No Reason For Under 10 Wins

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By: Tyler Dugan

The time is near. We just spent our last weekend until February without some sort of football on the TV, that’s some big time news. I’m all kinds of fired up for football to begin, so here’s what to expect:

Obviously the Bengals haven’t had a quiet offseason, but we’re going to look at the talent on the roster and the path ahead.

Let’s start with Andy Dalton and the offense. The weapons are there, no two ways about it. Green, Ross, Boyd, LaFell, Eifert, Mixon, Bernard and even Jeremy Hill. This offense has the guns to score with any team in the league. That is, if Andy Dalton can stand upright, because the offensive line is a mega question mark. We lost Zeitler and Whitworth, I went on my rant two months ago about that so no need to do it again, but they are big names, and we don’t have sure fire replacements for them. It looks like the line will consist of Cedric Ogbuehi, Jake Fisher, Clint Boling, Andre Smith and Russell Bodine. It is mind boggling that Russell Bodine still has a job because he gets pushed backwards and assists in more Andy Dalton sacks than successful blocking attempts, but whatever.


Ogbuehi and Fisher have to be better, there is literally no other option. They were first and second round draft picks two years ago, they need to nut up, block old ass steroid using James Harrison and pave the way for Joe Mixon to run train all over the AFC North. I believe in ya Jake and Ced, but the minute some rando from Jacksonville gets three sacks on Dalton I’m going to be on your ass like a fly on shit. I personally believe the Bengals should spend the 20 million dollars they have sitting in cap space on Ryan Clady, a guy who was once regarded as the top tackle in the NFL. He has been hurt the past 2 years, but if healthy he is a great add.


But, who am I kidding? Mike Brown is too busy telling Paul Dehner Jr. that Cincinnati may not have an NFL in the future because it is too difficult to maintain. What a fucking joke. Our fearless leader here at The PUP List, threw out an unreal tweet. It basically said, Cincinnati is going bananas over a minor league soccer team don’t feed me some bullshit that a NFL team isn’t sustainable in this city.

Hey Mike, here’s a hint: how about do more things that build excitement around the city. Like the Bengals 50 thing they are doing this year, or maybe start a Bengals Hall of Fame. I mean, it took the Bengals to get to their fiftieth anniversary before they even considered bringing back some of there former greats. Or maybe stop backing convicts. Or maybe lower the prices to go to a game like the Falcons did. Maybe hire someone in your organization that doesn’t have the last name of Brown who knows what the hell they are doing from a marketing aspect. But don’t sit there with your head up your ass like you always do, and feed some bullshit to this city that we can’t maintain an NFL team, because we can.

Make a damn investment, spend money to make money, look into what you can do with the stadium. Put your feet on the ground a make a damn move you old piece of shit.

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Don’t wine to the Enquirer about how hard you have it. LA has 2 teams, New York has 2 teams, Vegas is getting a team. There aren’t many major cities left to acquire an NFL team, the NFL throws around London, but that is years away. So find a solution Mike, there is a way, you just aren’t trying hard enough to find one, per usual.

The defense is goofy, I think there is a lot of talent there, but I also thought there was a lot of talent there last year and they sucked, so who knows. They added Kevin Minter in the offseason which is actually a decent signing, it wasn’t like we signed a 45 year old Karlos Dansby or James Harrison. He’ss 26 years old, in his fifth season, and is expected to be the middle linebacker.

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He steps on the field and is mega upgrade from Rey Malaluga. I will not miss 3rd and 7 with Dennis Pitta run a drag route, and it going for 45 yards because Rey was literally no where to be found. The D line should be good, Andrew Billings is finally healthy. He could be a force in the middle of the line, and take pressure off of Geno. He is all of 300 pounds and mean as hell. ‘Los Dunlap and Michael Johnson are still fierce on the edge. They drafted two other guys in those spots to add depth. William Jackson the 3rd is healthy. He is a big addition.

Pacman will miss the first couple games, so WJ3 and Darquez need to step up. Hopefully they can take over the starting spot over that bum. Iloka and Willaims are vets in the back who are solid.

I’m choosing to go into this season with a positive outlook. Their schedule is weak as hell.

Flacco is injured to start the year. The Bengals greatest strengths (offensive weapons) attacks Pittsburgh’s biggest weakness (defensive backs). The Browns suck (water is wet). We play the AFC south (Houston, Indy, Jacksonville, Tennessee) and the NFC North (Minnesota, Chicago, Detroit, Green Bay). We are better than every team on that list with the exception of Green Bay, and maybe Houston. A Tennessee win is not out of reach by any means for this team. That is perfectly reasonable, and I expect at least 10 wins from this team.

They will stay healthy, AJ will continue to prove why he is a top 5 receiver in the league. John Ross will burn any one on one coverage thrown at him. Joe Mixon will win Rookie of the Year.

Andy Dalton will play like he did in 2015, and continue to prove ginger haters wrong. The offensive line will bend but never break. Marvin Lewis will not look like he just pooped himself every time he throws a challenge flag. Geno, Dunlap and Billings will anchor a strong front. King Tez will take out Bens knee in week 7, and this city will rejoice. They will win the division. They will win a playoff game. Tom Brady is 40, he will fall off. Bengals beat Chiefs in the AFC championship, and will go to war against the Giants for the Lombardi. Let’s ride Cincinnati, let’s ride. I’ll see you haters in February.

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