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Marvin Lewis is Happy the McCarron Trade Didn’t Happen, We’ve Reached Full Bungal

By: Alex Marcheschi

Have you ever made plans, looked forward to how the plans will positively affect your life and then become crestfallen when said plans fall apart, leaving your hopes and dreams dismantled on the floor? Expectation is the root of all heartache, as they say. Well, that is, except if you’re Marvin Lewis. Look at this quote below.

That’s right folks, Marvin is so indecisive that he’s actually glad the plans he made fell through. For those who don’t know, the Bengals tried to trade AJ McCarron to the Browns yesterday, and the deal was done but it fell through because the paperwork wasn’t filed by the trade dealine. I would say it’s unbelievable, but sadly it’s very believable. With Marvin, we’re talking about a man who can’t even decide when to challenge a play. A man who can’t decide whether or not to play his top 10 draft pick. A man who’s best talent is his ability to make an excuse no matter the situation. A man who has the charisma of a literal pile of feces.

This is peak Bungals, PEAK! Our team’s leader is openly admitting that he’s “relieved” his decision didn’t come to fruition. That’s when you truly know you’re terrible at your job, when you’re happy the decision you’re paid to make didn’t actually happen.

Maybe Marvin should start applying this logic to everything he does. If he just did the opposite of whatever he was going to do, would the Bengals be better? I honestly think they would be, and I’m not even joking. This isn’t rock bottom, we can always go lower. Strap in.

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